[So he'd been taking a nap, because he was up a fair bit studying for Moon Knight exams, and those are exhausting. Kazuma's been trying to learn so much - a lot in a short amount of time, and he's gotten to the point where he made himself flashcards for it. He hates it. It's like high school.

But it'll be worth it when he gets to be an adventurer again, sorta! Easy money!

So he's just walking into the main room, and oh, hey, the cute boyfriend(??? they never really did talk out what they were, did they, but they had sex and they're going to get married someday, so...) is hom--

He freezes, seeing how Osomatsu is dressed. His mouth opens a bit, and then he smirks.]

...Did I do something to earn this, oooor?

...Either way, that's a cute look on you. I like it. So if it was a surprise for me, great surprise, you've successfully made my day.

Uh, the cute dress-up?

...Is that not, like, 'hey, remember that time I called you Kazuma-sama? I've gone all out with it this time and I want you to be into it.'

Because I absolutely am. Orrrrr....what's with the maid costume? I just by default thought I somehow did something really good and you really wanted to reward me like this~.

Or is this just, uh, a fun thing for you? I'm kinda confused but tentatively turned on.

[Wah, cute...then...ohhhhhh. Okay. He nods.]

And...you chose to be a maid out of those two options? I mean, I'm absolutely not against it, obviously. You're adorable, and I completely get it. I went to a few of those in Akihabara, actually.

[Because he's an otaku. He had to.]

Or is it a themed one where it's crossdressing, or...? I'm just trying to understand here. Like, if you're more comfortable being a girl sometimes, I'm totally open.

Either way , y'didn't have to hide this. I think it's cute.
....Though even if your job involves calling other guys 'master', I'm not gonna be jealous. I know my worth anyway.

[Hey look he's trying to be supportive.]

...Oh. I guess that's the owner?

She's got great taste then.

And yeah, okay, you just never mentioned it before. It wasn't hiding it, that was shit wording.
It's just cute and I'm just pleasantly surprised~

Aww, that's good--

[He's poked. Hmmm. Little beaming.]

Figured, but...
I'm the only one who gets that after-hours, riiiight~?

[...He catches that hesitation, and so much as normally he'd go 'yeeesssYESYES' and immediately jump on the lewd thoughts wagon, this time he hesitates as well.]

...As long as it's something you're okay with, too.
Like, if it's weird, or if there's anything wrong, it's hot, but never feel obligated. If you don't wanna, that's fine.

As stupid as I can be sometimes, I'm pretty decent at reading a room.

[He gently takes his hand, giving it a small squeeze.]

So I'd like to know what's wrong, but if you're not comfortable with telling me, I understand. Nothing here's going to be a dealbreaker for me, 'kay?

[He sits and he listens. He listens, and then he finally speaks. He's...he's feeling a lot of emotions. Namely anger and protectiveness.]

First of all, he's nothing like me, mostly because he's fucking repulsive and I would absolutely love to kick his ass. If he's still here, and if I ever see him...he's gonna wish he wasn't.

[He took advantage of him in a drugged up state and on top of that, never did anything afterwards, never even fucking said 'oops! Sorry for being so disgusting! I should really fix that! I can understand why I deserve to be sliced into a million pieces!'

Needless to say, Kazuma is livid. But he takes a breath in...then out.]

...I've said it to you before and I'll say it again: I'm not going anywhere, and it is his big fucking loss he did, because he ruined his life and perfected mine, so hey, the one good thing he's ever done is fuck off, because now I have the best thing that ever happened to me, and he has a hand that is going to see a lot of use unless it gets somehow mysteriously broken, hm, wonder how that'd be.

You're too good for him, anyway. There's scum like me - where I'm aware I'm a piece of shit, and I will fuck up, but I'm willing to keep trying and not run away like a coward, like scum like him.

[Alright, toss away the anger...he does that, and he speaks far more softly.]

......So now I get why. And that's fine. I'm not going to run away. Because I care about you, and I want us to be happy. And if that means tossing away one fetish because it understandably brings up bad memories...that's fine. Because I don't like you just for sex, y'know? ...I like you for you.

[He finally smiles earnestly.]

And that concludes 'why I'm your boyfriend and why it's a shame that there are walking trash heaps in this world'.

Yes, but you've accepted me as your walking trash heap, so I'm okay with that.

[He moves to wrap his arm around him, hugging him close.]

You don't have to thank me for caring about how you feel. That's part of my job.

[He was beaming sweetly....up until that point.

And now he's right back into perverted gremlin mode.]

...You're serious?

That is a lot of dangerous power you have just given me. I would not trust me with that kind of power.

Having said that though I am all for that any time any when any where...

[He's already getting excited.
Yep. Walking trash heap.]

[And that caught him off guard. That caught him off guard enough for something to briefly poke his boyfriend in the leg. Kazuma.exe is experiencing issues.]

H...Haaaah....

[He completely would've done something if he remained there, but now he's just sitting there with a bright red face and an awkward shifting in his seat.]

Yeahokay....okayyeah...

[Honestly, he expected to be blueballed, but apparently not. And he now has his boyfriend in his lap. Which causes a dumbfounded smile. Poooke.]

You are s--so not sorry, I saw that smirk, but I'm way too excited about this 'making it up to me' part to feel even remotely bad.

How're you gonna do that, huh???